Historic Emergency Meeting Ends After Someone Says ‘Walkies’

A historic emergency meeting of the Bark of Directors was adjourned unexpectedly yesterday after an unidentified observer used the word “walkies” near an open microphone. The board had been ninety minutes into its discussion of ranked-access safeguards.

Within seconds, six directors had left their seats, three had retrieved their leads, and the Chief Financial Pawficer was standing by the door with a level of urgency not previously seen during an audit.

Interim Head of Crisis Management Peanut activated the Protocol for Unscheduled Collective Excitement. Unfortunately, he was also by the door. An independent review will determine whether this constitutes a conflict of interest.

Founder & CEO Domar Lapiskitin confirmed that all outstanding resolutions would carry forward. “The meeting may have ended,” he said, “but our commitment did not. We also had a very productive walk.”

Future board meetings will use the phrase “external locomotion opportunity” to avoid disruption. Early testing suggests the directors have already learned what this means.